For everything we say yes to, we’re saying no to something else.
Yes to others, no to self, Yes to self, no to something else.
Over the last week this statement has popped into my awareness a few times. Not one to ignore messages from the Universe, I figure I need to share my thoughts and experience of this.
If you’ve been with me for a while you’ll know that I bang on about self-love, self-care and making your needs a priority A LOT.
Having spent the majority of my adult life as the consummate ‘people pleaser’ I rarely said no to anyone. At the time I thought I was being the best mum, partner, friend, person I could be.
“Yes, I’ll be the one to get up to our crying baby all through the night.” “Yes, I’ll turn up to our weekly family lunches with a cranky unsettled baby when I’m feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.” “Yes, I’ll leave work to pick up my son from preschool and drop him at the carer’s house because she isn’t confident to do the 10min drive, even though it’s an hour out of my day.”
What I wasn’t aware of was what I was saying no to in those moments.
No, my sleep isn’t important. No my need for rest and downtime isn’t important. No my job isn’t important.
Over and over I was saying no to me.
I had the realisation the other night how my priorities have shifted over the years. As I sat eating a hastily slapped together, microwave reheated chicken burger with soggy southern fried chicken, I realised I had said yes to spending an hour on ME at a glorious yoga class and no to the delicious crispy chicken my family ate.
When I left my part time job in a toxic environment 2.5 years ago and decided to work for myself, I said yes to my wellbeing whilst saying no to financial stability.
What is it that you are saying no to when you say yes to your kids, your partner, your family, your friends or your job?
We often feel we don’t have a choice what we say yes to but that is not true. We always have a choice; we just might not want to accept the consequences of those choices.
Take this as an opportunity for reflection; a way to raise your awareness around what you are choosing in any given moment.
Here’s a few reflection questions to ask yourself?
When I say yes to , I’m saying no to .
If I say no to , I’m afraid/worried people with think I’m .
Saying no to , doesn’t mean I’m , it means .
We are unconsciously making choices multiples times a day and are probably in the habit of saying yes to avoid the consequences of saying no.
When we are aware of this we have the opportunity to be more conscious about the choices we are making.
Please leave your comments and feedback; I’d love to hear your thoughts.